an update! (oh & a story about God’s faithfulness)

I just read a journal entry from December of 2019 that says

 “while I’m sitting here in my bed, praying to God about my future, He said to me: I’ll take care of it, I will take care of you.

& now here I am! 3 months into it. I’ve raised over 80% of the funds to go. I’ve met men and women from all over, who’ve truly become my closest friends & confiders. I experienced enlightenment & intimacy & deep refinement & growth. I slept in my tent, took bucket showers, was surprised by grocery stores, helped with disaster relief in LA, ran a chainsaw, have laughed so hard that I couldn’t breathe, have cried so hard that I wanted to quit, and have been shepherded & loved in more ways than I can count. I’m doing the dang thing. I’m here. I’m standing in the promise. 

Fast forward to Thanksgiving break. I’m preparing for one week at home with my family & two of my pals from Gainesville. It’s the day before Thanksgiving & we receive an email saying that some friends on our squad were exposed to Covid-19. So, our Covid Team (s/o Bob C.) explained that we won’t be going back to campus until January. At this point I was upset but I hadn’t quite processed the news. I went home with the full intention to sit with the Lord & mourn & ask Him what He thinks of this. Instead, I ended up getting a cold, a rash appeared across my face, I couldn’t taste, and I felt exhausted. 

Yep, I got corona. 

We went & got tested that night to make sure that I was positive (which I was). So my “time to process with the Lord” was overshadowed by the fact that I was so tired from this virus (like-i-had-20/26-symptoms-tired). 

A few days later when I got my groove back, I asked God about this month of December. I told Him about my disappointment & anxieties & the fact that I won’t be able to see my Team Leaders & how I’ll be home this whole month. Something that I never planned to do. 

But God. 

In His steadfast love, He reminded me of the promise. He reminded me of what He said last December. He reminded me that He’ll still take care of it. He’ll still take care of me. In the not knowing & in the questioning, He is God and I am not. <– wow amen. 

Last year, I would’ve never thought that I’d be where I am now. I didn’t know what my 3 months in Georgia would be like. I didn’t know how emotionally hard & uncomfortable it would be. I didn’t know how much I would miss my family. I didn’t know how cold the 5am bucket showers were (rough). But I also didn’t know how much I would fall in love with sunrises. I didn’t know how much I would learn about practical commitment to people. I didn’t know how the Holy Spirit would pierce my soul during worship. And I certainly didn’t know how much I would unlearn & learn about the Father’s heart for me. 

So, as I sit here in the unknown and in the waiting, His promise still remains. He’s still faithful to me. In Gainesville, GA and Columbia, SC, God is the same God. He is still patient, gentle, refining, loving, and He’s the God who turns mourning to dancing. He can continue to take what I think is bad and turn it into good, for His glory. He will continue to provide for each & every single need that I have. He will take care of my December. 

He will take care of it. He will take care of me. 

And for you a friend, He’ll take care of you too.