as i sit 

and write this in my cold tent at 11pm on a tuesday night, knowing that tomorrow i'll be cold & tired... the Lord hit me with this realization that i had to write down! when i look at my life right now and what i'm doing here in georgia, it's definitely different from others'. sure, i don't sleep in a bed, i don't take warm showers, and i haven't hugged my sister in 19 days (which is a lot for us!) my flesh reminds me of everything that i'm missing out on right now. the freshman year college experience, the comforts of my home & family, the nice restaurants, the warmth, and the easy american dream that most people think for themselves. i can get into such a world wind of doubt & confusion & shame for choosing this life. 

BUT GOD 

when i'm reminded why i'm here (which i need every now & then) everything makes sense again. i'm here, we're here to establish the kingdom on earth & reunite kids with their dad.  i'm here to learn from people who take up their cross & deny themselves daily, in order for me to learn how to do the same. i'm here to walk with my sisters & brothers, to laugh with them, to weep with them, to hunger with them, to sit with them, & to pray with them. i'm here to grow in a deeper intimacy with my creator. the One who breathed life into my very being. the one who looked at the cross then looked at me and said "yeah, she's worth it". the One who told me that i cannot fathom the plans He has for me. the One who went before me even before i knew what the world race was. 

So when i look back on everything i've "missed" in order to lose myself & comforts & desires so i can gain more of Him & His kingdom, is it a sacrifice? 

no, it's a privilege.