c a p a b l e

hey friend! 

okay maybe this isn’t a story about lumberjacks, but it does have to do with logs. and when i say logs, i mean logistics. 

back in gainseville our leadership team got together to start praying about who should fill which roles on the squad. i still remember being shocked when they asked me to do logistics. i called my step dad and he said “um i think they have the wrong person”. and i did too. i was never really a good student in high school (don’t get me wrong, my teachers and i were & still are besties :)). so of course i wanted to say no. 

 

then, God. 

He asked me if i would give my Yes to Him. no matter how i was feeling. He changed my perspective from my weakness to His strength. so in complete faith i said Yes. 

 

& it wasn’t just me. through this job i got to work with one of the most driven, comical, lackeys-soup-loving, generous & will make me pee my pants on the daily kinda man. 

my guy Reed Barrett. 

 

for the past 6 months we’ve been planning debriefs, receipting, coordinating travel days, reminding people to not lose their passports, pulling out money, making squad announcements, receipting more of that money & then putting it all together in an expense report. 

 

& it was hard. 

 

i remember a night in guatemala where i thought i hit my breaking point. POV: we had to start booking a place for debrief soon. my partner reed was in the mountains. so there i was all by myself. i’d been emailing this one venue for the past 2 weeks and they weren’t responding as quickly as i hoped. i might’ve over estimated  the budget that i gave this venue & it was too late to change it. i didn’t know how to book transportation for coaches or mentors and had no idea what i would do. so i walked from the kitchen into my room and proceeded to cry (hysterically) for 15 minutes. 

the thoughts running through my mind were “incapable” “not enough” and of course the enemy’s favorite line “dumb”. this night i really believed those words. in the moment felt like i was drowning. 

 

then my team showed Jesus to me. they sat with me, laughed with me, wiped away my tears & prayed over me. 

& all of a sudden it made sense.

God didn’t put me in this role because i was already capable, He put me in this role to show me that i could be. in those tears He was stretching & growing & molding my capacity. He was pulling me further away from my own mind & closer to His heart. & i’d do it all again just to be near Him. 

 

later in that month i found a note from my friend abs in january. she said that the Lord was speaking the word “c a p a b l e” over me in this season. & that ranggg true for this role & all that it brought. 

 

so for anyone questioning their capacity or strength to say Yes to what God is calling you into, SAY YES. He’ll bring something so far beyond good from it. 

 

lots of love, 

M 

ps here’s some of my favorite places Reed & i have logisticed 

• the ywam bus after dinner 
• the pilla in guatemala 
• the line for dinner 
• running around antigua 
• allll the icecream stores in puerto viejo